Prometheus

So very recently a friend of mine got a job at the movie theatre.  From what I understand, the pay is kind of shit but everyone's pretty chill there overall.  However, one of the major perks: Free movies.  Provided we go with him we get to go see movies for free.

Pretty much.

So, this past Monday we went and saw Prometheus together.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I'll be damned: this movie exceeded whatever expectations I wasn't expecting.

As a general synopsis for the plot: a bunch of scientists make a discovery at various archaeological digs around the world that all point to one grouping of planets.  These scientists all suit up, hop on a trillion dollar expedition to this planet in question, and low-and-behold: aliens.

The visual effects were stunningingly great, with minimal points of "well golly gee, I hope those animators were paid overtime!" as far as the CG goes, which sort of remains true to the original Alien series.

However: there are a few overall plot holes/blaringly "DUH" points to the story, which sort of detract from it.  I mean, it sort of has a whole bunch of every single trope imaginable to a space scenario such as: the gun-freak, the science nerd, the military bitch and the android.  I mean some of them are minor enough to ignore and just sit down and watch what's unfolding in front of you, but still...

Overall though I'd say it was a really freaking excellent movie.  If you have the opportunity to go see it: do so- you won't be horribly disappointed.

Chronicle

So, I went to the movies for the first time since August to see Chronicle with a few friends.

Just walking into the theater reminded me why I started to dislike going to the theaters in the first place: the teenagers who think they're hot shit because they're out by themselves without parental supervision seeing a PG-13 rated movie.  I'll admit I was one of them at one point.  But here's the key difference: I knew when to shut the fuck up and let people around me watch the movie.

To emphasize-
The kids sitting in front of  us were a surly little group of 5 boys, none of them possibly older than 14.  One of them kept turning around prior to the credits and asking us questions, which can be fine under the right circumstances.  However, when I lean over to my friend and say "I want a slushie, do you guys want anything?" and this little shit turns around and says "Can I come with you?" when you start to head out, that's when it starts to border on creepy.  Not seeing any harm in it my friend and I reply "Sure, if you want to." but he remains firmly planted with his shitty friends.

So we go to the concession stand, get our overpriced movie snacks, and head back to the theater and into our seats, only to have the shit in question look back at us and say "Why wouldn't you let me come with you?"- it was at that moment when I knew shit was about to get real. 

The entire time during the credits he kept turning around and asking us ridiculous questions, obviously trying to annoy us, but I tried to take it in stride and giving equally as snarky responses in kind.  Eventually they turned their attention away from us and started to throw popcorn and Skittles at one another until the original shit stood up in his seat and proceeded to climb over it and into our row, sitting down next to me.  He kept leaning over and trying to work our nerves more until I just eventually ignored him.  It was only after we were in threat of getting shit thrown in my general vicinity did the child move back to his original seat and calm down a bit.

That is until he turned around and asked us "Do you guys think I'm annoying?"  I slowly turned my head toward him and as a group, my friends and I all replied "Yes."  to which he obviously got a little shaken and apologized.  That is until his next statement.

"I'm in special ed."

Really?  Really little shit child?  You're going to play that card?  ADHD does not qualify sympathy from me.

So I focused on playing the ignoring game as hard as possible until he finally silenced up.

That is until he turned around again saying "Have you seen my wallet?  My wallet's missing.  Did you take my wallet?  Look at me and tell me you didn't take my wallet."

My response:

Because I suddenly became an owl in that moment.

There was the small sound of one sanity snapping as I fixed my cold stare upon him.  "Okay...." and actually fell totally silent and rigid for about 15 minutes.

Right.  The movie.

The movie follows a group of teenagers in their senior year of high school: the popular kid, the school president and the misunderstood loner (effectively the main character) as they go to a party, discover some bizarre thing and develop psychic powers.  The next hour or so is dedicated to these guys goofing around and developing their strength as they go off and hit the town pranking people with their bizarre abilities.

So pretty much every high school student's dream.

Bent silverware and all.

I'm not going to delve any deeper into the plot since today WAS indeed opening night and all 12 of you readers out there might actually go and see it.  But what really sets this movie apart is the pseudo first-person camera that has been making a recent uptrend in cinema as of late.  I say pseudo because the movie actually references the cameras that are shooting it, starting from the big shoulder mounted camera that the loner starts out with and eventually into the handheld digital camcorder and iPhones/iPads of onlookers later on.  It's sort of like the movie is acknowledging that it is indeed a movie, however it almost comes across as slightly more documentary because they literally do at one point go "Alright shut up guys, I want to get this on camera."  They even give excuse to the cinematic angles and effects by making it a point to show that psychic loner can telekinetically float the camera over his shoulder.

Unfortunately no images for that yet.

But still, I really think it was a great movie and had several Akira-esque moments and motifs in it (giant mutant baby excluded).  Go see it if you can, I know I kind of want to go again myself.

However probably a matinee if anything so as to try and avoid the shitty children.

Things I am a fan of: Horror Movies

Nothing quite gets me wide awake and creative like a good old fashion bought of terror.  Haunted houses, scary stories, whatever inexplicable horror this is; just that good old adrenaline pumping fear that gets your heart racing and mind going down dark alleyways with strangers with the promise of candy.

Unfortunately, a lot of horror movies coming out as of late aren't really all that scary.

Oh no, attractive girl in her underwear!  THE PURE ABJECT TERROR!

 The Unborn for instance, starts off with a fairly solid premise:

• Girl starts having weird dreams as her brown eyes turn blue
• Weird shit starts happening around her
• Demon child brought into this world as a Nazi experimentation on children tries to free itself through her by tearing through her uterus
• ???
• Profit!

Unfortunately, it falls flat in a lot of areas.  A lot of the actual creep factor was brought on by the special effects and lots of creatures with their heads on upside down.

This is scary, right?

Otherwise, a lot of the actual scare factor was brought on by shameless "jump scares" and even a mirror take or two.  All considering not all that scary, just...shocking more than anything.

Another movie in slightly more recent times was Drag Me to Hell.  Similarly, it had good promise to it:

• Girl is working at bank but is reprimanded by her superiors to stop being so nice
• Old Granny Gypsy comes in begging for an extension on her loan payments
• Girl grows a pair and says "no"
• Old Granny Gypsy hides out in girl's car and ambushes her on the way home (physically)
• Old Granny Gypsy places curse on girl
• Girl is haunted by evil demon that will ~lo-and-behold~ drag her to Hell in a few days!
• ???
• Profit?

Pictured: The best scene in the whole movie.

Even the movie poster has solid intentions!  It very clearly shows you exactly what you're in for: some sort of evil force dragging an attractive young woman into the depths of Hell!  However, the build up to that point in the movie is nigh insufferable, relying mostly on more jump scares and loud sound effects to frighten you rather than solid plot and development.  The whole thing just leaves the viewer to question what they just spent the past hour and so minutes wasting their life on.

Turning away from movies I wasn't fond of: Paranormal Activity made me afraid to sleep with any of my limbs hanging out of the covers for weeks after viewing it.  Hell even now I make sure that my comforter is wrapped around me as tight as it will go to make sure that some invisible phantasm doesn't grab me by the leg and drag me down the hallway.  The thing that I think makes this movie most scary is the fact that you don't see what is going to destroy you're sanity: it preys upon the fear of the unknown and turns your own imagination against you.

Pictured: Your worst nightmare come to life.

Another one that geninuely creeped me out was Quarantine.  It takes the idea of the zombie and translates it away from the idea of a reanimated corpse by turning it into an actual living creature brought on by a horrible disease, much like the 28 Days Later franchise did.  I think that's what makes this movie so scary: that these creatures are still living people who you knew and lived with that want to violently tear you limb from limb to satiate their ravenous hunger and disease induced rage.

Which kind of brings me to one of the things in most recent times is Marble Hornets.  It's a youtube series that is done as a series of entries based on video tapes previously recorded and now being watched in a retrospective manner while the main character tries to piece together a complicated web of lies revolving around his one friend.

Oh...and he's in it too...

Yeah.  Something about Slender Man scares the ever-loving bejesus out of me.  I know he's not an actual enitity, but...something about a shapeshifting abomination that steals the sanity of its victims before possibly disemboweling and/or eating them in his own pocket dimension strikes JUST the right nerve to keep me awake at night.  Marble Hornets actually does a really solid job of keeping him just in the background of many of the shots, drawing attention to him only when you absolutely need a good pants wetting.  Their erstwhile nemesis totheark is nothing to snuff at either.

 

You know what you did.

So, as I wrap this up at 12:30 at night in a hundred year old house set out in the woods under the light of a nearly full moon, I plan on wrapping myself up in as many blankets as possible and set myself down for a good, long night of not sleeping out of all the fear I just stirred up in my own mind.

Thanks me.